Your Questions Can Keep You Trapped or Free You

Padma Ali, LMFT, CPCC
3 min readSep 7, 2021


In a recent session with a client, she tapped into a dream of starting a healing practice. As soon as she accessed it, her analytical brain kicked in asking how she was going to pay her bills if she quit her corporate job. Her brain went directly to ‘How’

Have you considered that the easiest way to squash a dream is to ask ‘How’ . You have an amazing desire. Then you ask yourself, “How are you going to do that”. Notice how your energy changes the moment this question is posed. That literally kills the inspiration doesn’t it?

So often I see people ask the ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions and reach a dead end. Has that happened to you? Can you relate?

Right from a young age, we are taught to come up with a fool proof plan but the irony is that if you have never traveled that road, you probably will not know the exact way to get there, right?

Let me ask you, has there ever been a time when you had a goal, but didn’t know the exact way to get there and you figured it out? I am positive the answer is ‘Yes’.

Actually, let’s go here — think about someone who you admire, did they always know how they were going to get to their goals. Most likely the answer would be a ‘no’. What they would probably say is that they figured it out along the way. They had a general framework of the how but most of the path was created along the way, right!!! The vital piece was that they learnt to ask different questions of themselves and others.

You see, that is what differentiates the visionaries from the followers. Most visionaries learn to work around the ‘How’ question because they trust that the answers always come.

The bottom line is that people who are able to overcome it are because they have learnt to ask better questions. Better yet, they are ok with not knowing the answer, which is often hard for many.

I will leave you with this quote associated with Richard Bandler, but I am not sure. Since I love it, I will share with you

“The quality of your answers will depend on the quality of the questions you ask”

This is how I have gotten myself unstuck and this is one thing I ask my clients to ask themselves.

For instance instead of asking “How is it going to work?” Ask yourself “How can I make this work”

The next time you find yourself working hard and getting frustrated because you’re not getting the results, ask yourself “How can this be easy?”

I invite you to learn to sit in silence and pay attention to your inner chatter. If you keep approaching something with frustration or resignation, remember this is what you will get back. Your answers are only as good as the questions you ask.

Turn “Why is this not working” to “How can I make this work”

When you do that, you’re operating from possibilities and not from circumstances.

So the next time you’re stuck, what different questions are you going to ask yourself and your team?

Share your thoughts with me on social media @padmaali.


P.S: Have you listened to my latest Podcast Episode? Here’s the link. I release one every Thursday.



Padma Ali, LMFT, CPCC

Master Coach for Evolved Executives. Love brain psychology & ancient wisdom. Podcaster. Live your highest potential. Open channel for divine inspiration. Mom.